Category Archives: Life

This is my own life, in which I hold a masters degree.

It’s T-Time!

After an extra-long weekend I’m excited to be joining the Telstra Field Marketing team this week – and especially thrilled to be back working my home patch.

I’ll be supporting the Telstra Enterprise business in WA and looking forward to working with a new set of colleagues and technologies to help build a brilliant connected future for the West.

Let me know if you have opinions on what that future should look like ;-)

#telstra #marketing #fieldmarketing #outstandinginthefield #humansandrobotsftw

Hello Tomorrow

Bundling up my access key and laptop for shipping back to head office, it’s hard not to feel nostalgic. Back in 1998, Day One, I was given an access key, pointed toward a shiny new Pentium II desktop, and asked to ‘build websites’. No laptop back then. (No cellphones, either, only The Sales Guys got Nokia 5110s.)

Wordnerds know that nost-algia means ‘homesickness’, or the bittersweet pain or longing associated with remembering a past home.

I’ve had several homes within CA – from the earliest days as part of the crack ‘Internet Solutions Group’ at Platinum; to Product Management at Computer Associates; to Field Marketing at CA; Marketing Operations at CA Technologies; and finally, Mainframe Marketing at CA Technologies: a Broadcom Company. CA: Change, Always.

If you’ve been part of those teams, you’ll know that CA had its own way of doing things, for better or worse, and the CA Family was always ‘assuming positive intent’ and built some amazing tech and experiences through sheer esprit de corps. I’m proud to have built those with y’all – and yes, it is kinda bittersweet to know that the CA we knew is no more. (Here are some videos if you want to share that feeling now.)

I’m moving out of Broadcom, but not moving on – there are still robots and humans that need me to broker peace-among-worlds! I don’t yet have an access key for a new home, but I know I’ll always cherish my CA ancestry, wherever in the world I find my folk.

Hope to see you again soon; maybe for breakfast?

Eurovision 2018 – The Aftermath

Weird year. I try not to gague myself against the final result, because I simply picked my preferences. In a perfect world, Spain won. But there are so many stats on the official site, I couldn’t resist an analysis. I’m happy that I managed to pick 5 of the final 10 (out of the entire competition, mind you).

I like to gague my performance against the Australian Jury Members, and at least beat Richard Wilkins for accuracy. I have a model that shows how closely aligned each juror was to the final result. I’m sad to report we were mostly in agreement, even with our high ranking for Spain and Lithuania. I was particularly wrong about the UK (I said 2nd, Europe said 24th) and Spain (I said 1st, Europe said 23rd). ‘L-Fresh The Lion’ was waaaaay off (putting Cyprus, Czech Republic at the bottom of the list, and Spain at the top). Best performer was Jordan Raskopoulos – generally closest to the final result.

No-one had Israel at number one. Sneaky chicken-folk.

Book1 2018-05-14 21-43-27

Eurovision 2018 – According to Science

Relying on the 100% Accurate, Exhaustive, Methodical process from Mr. Gerbear, I hereby award this year’s #Eurovision points. Australian Jury, you have your marching orders.

As always, this is based on a listen alone; I haven’t seen or heard the televised performances, so if someone bums a note or has a notable bum, I haven’t been swayed. We’re doing science here, people.

Here’s the full list. I’m as surprised as you are about some of the positions. Especially Spain. Am I a tree*?

But not about The Netherlands. The Netherlands’ entry is bad and they should feel bad. Points négatifs.

  • Because trees need sap to live.

UPDATE: Moar science – this suggests my controversial pick of Lithuania at #3 has support in the extant literature. Science!

A Certain Point Of View: It’s Time For The Airing Of Star Wars Grievances

Here, in the lull between #MayTheFourth and #RevengeOfTheSixth, is the one day a year I revisit my list of grievances against the Star Wars universe. In no particular order:

  • Really Big Things, like Death Stars, exploding in flames with a flat, ring-shaped shock wave. (Star Trek, looking at you also)
  • #HanShotFirst, unless you’re in some Disney-fied alternate reality, in which case, sure, self-defense, whatever.
  • #LetTheWookieeWin… a medal for his part in blowing up the Death Star. R2D2, also.
  • R2-D2, and most of the SW robo-proletariat are not “droids’, a shortening of ‘android‘, meaning a “robot with a human appearance”. C-3PO, sure. Battle droids, fine. BB-8? Not a ‘droid.
  • Obi-wan aparrently forgetting his 3-movie relationship with R2-D2: the most loyal, competent and heroic astromech in the galaxy.
    • “But, but; he actually says: I don’t seem to remember ever owning a droid. so he’s right, from a Certain Point Of View”
      Get out.
  • Midichlorians, bah. You too.

The Goddamn ‘Suits’ Drinking Game

Grab your favourite beverage; this is the official Suits Goddamn Drinking Game for viewers at Château Bonwâg.

When Someone Says This…

  1. “Goddamn” – one shot (Bonus shot if it’s weirdly awkward e.g. “You can goddamn pay for this coffee.”)
    • (In Season 5 or later substitute the single awkward curse word they are allowed per episode.)
  2. “What are you doing here?” – one shot
  3. “Be That As It May” – one shot
  4. “You have my word… / I promise you…” – one shot
  5. “What is this?” – one shot
  6. “If anyone asks…” – one shot
  7. “I know this is none of my business” – one shot
  8. “This conversation/deposition is over.” – one shot
  9. “Is that a threat?” – one shot
  10. “It didn’t come from me.” – one shot
  11. “You didn’t come all the way over here just to…” – one shot
  12. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…” – two shots
  13. “Now instead of (doing x) why don’t you go and (do y)” – two shots
  14. “We need (x) done and we need (x) done *now*”  – two shots
  15. “Sh*t the bed” – two shots
  16. “What did you just say to me?” – two shots
  17. “Get the hell out of my office” – two shots
  18. “Well, you’d better fix it; and fast” – two shots
  19. “You’re going to want to hear what I have to say” – three shots
  20. “Get Your House In Order” – three shots

When This Happens…

  1. Once the first name of everyone visible in the scene is mentioned – one shot
  2. A character hands someone a folder without explaining what is in it – one shot
  3. An elevator closes on someone – one shot
  4. Someone buttons or unbuttons their suit – one shot
  5. A judge allows a clear case of contempt in their courtroom, after pointing it out and warning against it – two shots
  6. Two characters meet on a rooftop with a CGI background – three shots
  7. The third time someone uses a movie reference in the same episode – three shots
  8. It’s raining in NYC – have a coffee (this never happens)

See Also (for proof and further research):