Eurovision 2018 – According to Science

Relying on the 100% Accurate, Exhaustive, Methodical process from Mr. Gerbear, I hereby award this year’s #Eurovision points. Australian Jury, you have your marching orders.

As always, this is based on a listen alone; I haven’t seen or heard the televised performances, so if someone bums a note or has a notable bum, I haven’t been swayed. We’re doing science here, people.

Here’s the full list. I’m as surprised as you are about some of the positions. Especially Spain. Am I a tree*?

But not about The Netherlands. The Netherlands’ entry is bad and they should feel bad. Points négatifs.

  • Because trees need sap to live.

UPDATE: Moar science – this suggests my controversial pick of Lithuania at #3 has support in the extant literature. Science!

A Certain Point Of View: It’s Time For The Airing Of Star Wars Grievances

Here, in the lull between #MayTheFourth and #RevengeOfTheSixth, is the one day a year I revisit my list of grievances against the Star Wars universe. In no particular order:

  • Really Big Things, like Death Stars, exploding in flames with a flat, ring-shaped shock wave. (Star Trek, looking at you also)
  • #HanShotFirst, unless you’re in some Disney-fied alternate reality, in which case, sure, self-defense, whatever.
  • #LetTheWookieeWin… a medal for his part in blowing up the Death Star. R2D2, also.
  • R2-D2, and most of the SW robo-proletariat are not “droids’, a shortening of ‘android‘, meaning a “robot with a human appearance”. C-3PO, sure. Battle droids, fine. BB-8? Not a ‘droid.
  • Obi-wan aparrently forgetting his 3-movie relationship with R2-D2: the most loyal, competent and heroic astromech in the galaxy.
    • “But, but; he actually says: I don’t seem to remember ever owning a droid. so he’s right, from a Certain Point Of View”
      Get out.
  • Midichlorians, bah. You too.

A Couple of Extra Verses: 2017

I argued for a plebiscite

We bickered to and fro

I played the man, ignored the ball

by post I voted No

And when I went to parliament

I shouted once again

“We’ll all be rooned come Christmastime”

I Am Australian


I am Katter kicking crocodiles

But letting blossoms bloom

I’m Broad amending motions

Just to keep it in the room

I am one of thirty eight percent

I lost the vote and ran

I’m Abbott In Absentia

I Am Australian


Edit for context: See ‘I Am Australian

The Goddamn ‘Suits’ Drinking Game

Grab your favourite beverage; this is the official Suits Goddamn Drinking Game for viewers at Château Bonwâg.

When Someone Says This…

  1. “Goddamn” – one shot (Bonus shot if it’s weirdly awkward e.g. “You can goddamn pay for this coffee.”)
    • (In Season 5 or later substitute the single awkward curse word they are allowed per episode.)
  2. “What are you doing here?” – one shot
  3. “Be That As It May” – one shot
  4. “You have my word… / I promise you…” – one shot
  5. “What is this?” – one shot
  6. “If anyone asks…” – one shot
  7. “I know this is none of my business” – one shot
  8. “This conversation/deposition is over.” – one shot
  9. “Is that a threat?” – one shot
  10. “It didn’t come from me.” – one shot
  11. “You didn’t come all the way over here just to…” – one shot
  12. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…” – two shots
  13. “Now instead of (doing x) why don’t you go and (do y)” – two shots
  14. “We need (x) done and we need (x) done *now*”  – two shots
  15. “Sh*t the bed” – two shots
  16. “What did you just say to me?” – two shots
  17. “Get the hell out of my office” – two shots
  18. “Well, you’d better fix it; and fast” – two shots
  19. “You’re going to want to hear what I have to say” – three shots
  20. “Get Your House In Order” – three shots

When This Happens…

  1. Once the first name of everyone visible in the scene is mentioned – one shot
  2. A character hands someone a folder without explaining what is in it – one shot
  3. An elevator closes on someone – one shot
  4. Someone buttons or unbuttons their suit – one shot
  5. A judge allows a clear case of contempt in their courtroom, after pointing it out and warning against it – two shots
  6. Two characters meet on a rooftop with a CGI background – three shots
  7. The third time someone uses a movie reference in the same episode – three shots
  8. It’s raining in NYC – have a coffee (this never happens)

See Also (for proof and further research):

This Internet Thing Might Be Catching On

Apparently, 10 years and 1 week ago today, my first Facebook post was “taking a break @ home”.

Still using both. (First tweet was 10 years and 2 weeks ago :

Many services have come and gone (MySpace deserved to die, Google Wave didn’t ) and these two have become something very different from what they were, but I think this internet fad might stick around for a while longer.

Happy Birthday Bonwag

Here it is, the yearly post celebrating the 22nd anniversary of the first post on Bonwag! As always, it’s been superseded by Facebook (and Day One – a personal diary) in recent times, so has been lightly tended, but one day, Facebook will die, taking my posting history with it, and Bonwag will still stand!

Here’s to having survived another year.

A marketing operations expert by day, muso/journo/geekdad by night, who just wants robots and humans to get along