February 6, 2010

TV Crossovers I’d Like To See – Director’s Cut

image After a couple of days of twitterage under the hashtag #tvcrossoversidliketosee, I and others thought the following show ideas deserved some fleshing out. Your contributions welcome in the Comments.

Bear Grylls In The Big Blue House
A real-life survival series where our hero survives on wits and gnats, until he’s sniffed out of hiding by an oversized orange muppet.

Dharma and Gregory House
This week, hilarity ensues when a diagnosis of terminal lupus turns out to all be in our heroine’s head.

So You Think You Can Dance Like A Fifth Grader
Our contestant’s dancing skills are rated and ridiculed by a panel of insufferably precocious 10 year olds.

Glee’s Anatomy
Hospital life is set to showtunes, mainly so advertising copywriters can unleash a series of increasingly irritating puns like ‘singing your heart out’ and ‘break a leg’

Jamie Oliver In The Night Garden
This week – Makka Pakka’s Pukka Rocky Road

Two and a Half Mentalists
Life is tough for Penn and Teller and the vicitim of one of their failed ‘sawing a woman in half’ tricks.

Lost Betty
This week’s cover: Grass Skirts And The Losers Who Love Them

Survivor: Cougar Town
Courtney Cox challenges potential suitors to increasingly contrived challenges until they vote her off

24 Rock
Jack Bauer might be the only one who can save NBC from itself. This week’s guest star; Conan O’Brien

Desperate Goodwives
Men suck SOOOO Much.

CSI: Ramsay Street
There’s Always A Clue.

Just Shoot Hannah Montana
‘Nuff said.

Spongebob Bebop
This week,  Patrick tracks down Plankton and claims his bounty, but somehow forgets to buy food again.

Trinny and Suzanna’s War On Everything
Everyone needs at least one chicken suit in their wardrobe.

That’s So Merlin
For some reason, Brotha’s predictin’ the future, wearin’ medieval clothes and talkin’ jive.

Buffy The Kitchen Nightmare
Stake and ****ing Chips

Spicks and Specks In The City
Panelists sit in a coffee shop and compare their scores.

January 31, 2010

The Opiate of The Classes

As school starts for another year, I’m caught raveling a couple of loose threads exposed in my gray matter by an offhand Facebook post. I was gazing lovingly at my newly-christened ‘iPad mini’* and thinking about how similar in form is is to my first ever serious self-bought gadget acquisition: a Nintendo Game And Watch.

image I had scrimped and saved lawnmowing money for 4 weeks to save up the $12 I spent at a Macarthur Square Pharmacy to buy ‘Fire’ – a simple little game of bouncing panicked residents from their burning building to a waiting ambulance.

Wouldn’t it be great to return to that simple gameplay for at least a little while? Today’s app ‘developers’ churning out sound boards and simple games of tic-tac-toe could learn a lot from the earliest mobile application developers – about gameplay, but importantly, about engagement.

They created situations and characters on tiny LCD screens which dragged 10 year olds away from the recess cricket pitch and under the Big Oak Tree for the first time. Nintendo – the inventor of Mario and Donkey Kong – understood early on that the game should be good, the hardware durable, but the kids will only keep playing if the characters are worth saving and revisiting. How many crowds of kids cheered on that little diver as he/she sprinted past the flailing arms of The Octopus? What is it about those cheesy little vignettes that inspires reverie today?

Unlike the Coleco Visions and the Ataris and the well-established arcades**, these games were portable (and school-suitcase-smuggleable). They could wake you up on the morning and keep you awake well past bedtime. There were no cartridges to purchase, no battery-draining backlights, and if things locked up, the ACL button was your friend. And they made cool little LCD explosions if you risked applying your thumb a little to hard to the screen. They established simple rules – 3 misses and you’re out. No saved progress, no cheat codes, no ‘unlocked achievements’, no multiplayer.

And yet, somehow, they consumed the attention and free-time of a generation.

As far as I can see, Nintendo has not allowed Game and Watch Simulators on the Apple iTunes Store. Presumably, the copyright police are (rightly) in Apple’s ear. You can find one or two ‘Game and Watch-type’ apps on there, but nothing worth spending time/money/bandwidth on.

However, there are some simulators available for Windows platforms – where developers don’t *necessarily* need to pass their wares through such a tight net. I found a couple of great sites, below, where developers have lovingly created some Games and Watches of yesteryear. See how many you remember!

imageFor mine, the standout games I can recall: Fire, Octopus, Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Junior, Snoopy Tennis and Oil Panic.

Sure, they’d barely rate a mention alongside today’s FPS/RPG/WoW/MMORPGs, and are probably heavily filtered through a nostalgic lens, but, dammit, they’re honest, hardworking little buggers that deserve a second chance in the apps store – come on Nintendo! Turtle Bridge for iPhone! Make it happen!

Some great sites

If you have any other links or memories, please post in the comments.

P.S.: Circle of Life: I had to save up a similar amount of time to buy the latest Nintendo gadget: The Wii. And sure enough, in Super Smash Bros. Brawl – one of the retro Nintendo characters is – you guessed it – ‘Mr Game And Watch’ – all the way from the scene of The Fire. Spooky.

(* ‘iPad Mini’ is my new name for my ‘iPod Touch’.)

January 18, 2010

Whither The Weather?

Today’s a great day to do some pruning of all those weather websites and applications that just don’t get Perth. First loser: Yahoo!

(Today’s correct answer: 43)

January 1, 2010

2010 In Three Words

Happy New Year, all. Pauline says it best:

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!

I’m not a fan of the new year resolution, but I like the idea of taking stock and recommitting to something important every so often.

And to that end, I’m sizing up this idea from Chris Brogan. Partly, because I think it’s crazy enough to work, and partly, because the concept doesn’t tie you down to actually doing a new year’s resolution, but living and being something new this year, which is kind of cool. It appeals to my ’simple rules’ wiring.

The idea is simple:

the object is to come up with three words that you use as compass points for your efforts over the year to come. They’re not resolutions. They’re ways of framing what you plan to do in the coming year.

I like the idea that it gets you to focus on where you want to be, not necessarily what you want to do. Successful motto-writers and admen have been following the same idea for years.

So, for what it’s worth, here are my three:

Create. Connect. Energy.

Can you boil your plans for 2010 down into 3 words?

December 1, 2009

Who Let The Dogs In?

A shout out to the guys at Dogear Nation who chose to feature the ‘Life In Latin’ page in their latest podcast – Thanks for the kind words, Andy.

If it weren’t for this wonderful service, I wouldn’t be aware of the Atari Arcade and F.Lux sites, which have made my evening!

November 24, 2009

Twilight New Moon: Lessons Learnt

I haven’t seen New Moon, nor do I aspire to – but I thought this review was instructive:

The messages behind Twilight? Be weak, let your man protect you. Be careful, don’t get him angry. If he hurts you, it’s your fault. Abuse is part of life. Accept it. If he really loves you, he’ll try not to hurt you but don’t be surprised if he does. You probably deserve it. You are nobody without your man, so don’t bother trying.

via Skepchick

That kinda sucks.

November 17, 2009

2012 – A Selection Of The Best Reviews

Seems it’s always the barrel-bottom movies that produce the sweetest invective, but here are a couple of the best:

“At one point you will be asked to cheer, or at least breathe a sigh of relief, as a yippy rat-dog is saved, whilst live people cease to be so, by means of plummeting.”

via Shoebox

Instead of seeing 2012, why not grab some popcorn, throw fifteen quid into a puddle and ask a friend to loudly insult your intelligence?

via GLinner

And, BTW – NASA’s doing some Mythbusting here.

Impressive movie special effects aside, Dec. 21, 2012, won’t be the end of the world as we know. It will, however, be another winter solstice.

via NASA’s 2012 Page

2012

November 16, 2009

Hurlstone Inquiry – The Farm Stays

The Hurlstone Inquiry does NOT support the NSW Government’s mini-budget idea of selling the farmland around Hurlstone Agricultural High School for housing. Booyah.

As always, the devil’s in the detail, and we expect a few days of discussion about what Hurlstone would look like IF the NSW Government carries through on its promise to implement the findings. It seems Hurlstone School will be partitioned from Hurlstone Farm and Hurlstone Boarding School. Blessing or Curse?

The inquiry recommends:

  • new facilities be built,
  • more industry partnerships be established,
  • the appointment of a Commercial Manager and advisory board for the farm and the boarding school,
  • the sale of $15M worth of land to fund the recommendations

The major sticking point will be taking the ‘Hurlstone’ out of the ‘Hurlstone Farm’ – expect more debate on that topic.

I think the proposed outcome -saving the green space and the farm to continue the brief of providing Agricultural education for Sydney students on the land around Hurlstone – is the best possible, and an outcome that any Hurlstone supporters should be happy with.

November 15, 2009

Out With The Sails Team

Sunset on the SwanA beautiful night on the Swan River on Friday night for CA’s annual Twilight Regatta, but only just got to check the photos. Quite impressed with the quality you can occasionally get from a camera phone – in this case a Blackberry 8100.

Our boat came 6th, apparently. With a carbon footprint of, well, nothing.

November 10, 2009

So You Think You Can Dance: NSW Government

Wanna see a politician tapdance?

Next week, the NSW Government releases the findings of the inquiry into the sale of farmland at Hurlstone Agricultural High School, nearly a year to the day since the issue first hit the headlines. Since that time, there’s been a lot of water under the bridge and many public statements of varying veracity:

From the time when a bellicose Rees government had factored 239M of land sale proceeds into its forward planning; to a realisation that the plan incorporated a war memorial and flood plains, as well as productive farmland and valuable green space; met by a revolt from local and national politicians, agriculture experts and community groups; to a pitiably one-sided public debate; to an eleventh-hour (and overdue) heritage listing for the land in question; and finally to a low-key public inquiry which has already ‘soft-launched’ its findings to the government ahead of the public release next week.

To my knowledge, there has not been an argument proffered in support of the sell-off, outside of an Excel spreadsheet, and a feeble attempt at wedge politics by the government in accusing Hurlstone of hoarding assets which could be transmogrified into policemen or nurses or teachers for other schools.

The counter-argument has been well-prosecuted by SHEAP, and congratulations should go to the team for their co-ordination and clarification of the important issues in the public debate. Well done, team.

Word is that the inquiry is likely to recommend a small sell-off of land in order to save face, acknowledging the lack of a case for a wholesale sell-off. I believe the inquiry will explicitly encourage the school to re-commit itself to the service of NSW and Australian agricultural education and propose some changes in the schools brief to ensure Hurstone is seen to be making the best use of its land allocation.

What then of the Government’s dreams of a Hurlstone-led budget bailout? It will be awkward: the role of local Labor members will be loudly trumpeted in advocating on behalf of Hurlstone, the state treasury will point to a recovering economy as a reason for not needing as much money (rather than seek to sell more land elsewhere), but later use the inquiry’s ‘snub’ in justification of the state’s further failing financials.

I’m cautiously optimistic – I believe the case has been made for Hurlstone’s Farm. Let’s see on Monday.

UPDATE: Seems The Land has some inside running confirming these suspicions, but suggesting the Inquiry could recommend additional inventment in the school. If true, it’ll certainly upset the government – turning a 9 figure landgrab/windfall into an 8 figure, long-overdue set of repairs for the school.

UPDATE II: SHEAP posts its response to The Land’s preview: cautiously optimistic, maybe overly so. Too early for congratulations just yet. Roll on Monday.

UPDATE III, Nov 15: Some details are leaked: the NSW Government thinks it can do a better job of running the farm, and is proposing relieving Hurlstone of its farm management duties so the school can get on with teaching agriculture. SHEAP’s response – not positive. Roll on Monday.