Category: Life

Stop the world. I want to get off.
The polar ice caps are melting. Near earth objects are threatening to wipe us out. The global economy is in uproar.
And The Cookie Monster is getting a health makeover.
That’s right. Once the paragon of excess (“Coooookieeeee! Augm nm nm nm…”) he’s being given a new songbook, including “A Cookie Is A Sometimes Food”.
Lies! All of it. I can only assume this is the work of The Usurper. Things ain’t been the same since The Little Red Devil arrived on the scene and started Elmo-cising. Grover got sidelined. Everyone can see Snuffleupagus. Now they’ve silenced the sole remaining voice of (in)sanity on The Street.
This CNN correspondent shares my outrage.

Today was ‘Medals Day’ at Dancepower, the ballroom dance studios Caleb and Allanah have been attending this year. It’s the day that the kids go before The Judges to qualify for their awards. This year, Ainslie and I were amazed at the progress our kids had made. Even Charli got game.
It’s only been a year since we noticed that the kids were having a great time with the more traditional steps we hauled out at The Ball. Ainslie found a ballroom dancing school near us, and now it’s a rare occasion for me to pick up Caleb and Allanah on a Saturday morning without some sort of minor award for their application in practice.
But this is where it really counts.
After putting in some very polished performances, Allanah scored Honours (95% up) in ‘Composite’ (Cha Cha, Slow Rhythm and Evening 3 Step), and Caleb also scored Honours for his Modern (Waltz, Slow Rhythm and Quickstep). Charli scored a mug and egg as a prize for her Macarena skills.
Caleb scooped the pool, though, with the ‘Most Outstanding Candidate’ award for the entire day. He’d been getting many compliments throughout the afternoon for his efforts, and it seems he’s being groomed – by the Powers That Be – for competition dance, if he wants it.
We’re all pretty proud. This could be the start of something big. And dripping with sequins.

Someone at the Newcastle Tramway Authority didn’t think this one through:

Touching Wires Causes Instant Death
$200 Fine

Thanks to Seth’s Blog for this little slice of surreality.

A new adventure starts on Friday, and no, this is not an April Fools joke.
Rod Olsen had the idea of talking about technology during his morning radio talk-back segment on Sonshine FM, and although he’s not exactly a Luddite himself, he’s called me in to provide a different perspective.
It’s the third time Sonshine has let me into the studio. I was in the newsroom for a few years, went away, came back as an announcer, and then left to pursue fame and fortune on the internet. Now, I get to be a ‘special guest’. I hope they’ve burned that old publicity photo they still have of me somewhere there.
The segment itself is between 10 and 11 on Friday mornings, if you want to tune in, or even phone in. It’d be great to talk to you live if you’re in Perth. Or even if you’re not in Perth.
To listen online, there’s a ‘live stream’ available on the website. Oh, and if you have one of those old-fashioned radio thingys, tune to 98.5 FM if you’re in Perth. There’s a special page up and happening already.
If you have any ideas for special topics, or comments, let me know. And if you’re a new BONWAG reader as a result of the program, a special welcome!

Don’t you love those bumper stickers and t-shirts that only ten percent of the population is going to understand?
Seen on the back of a station wagon this morning:

There’s no place like 127.0.0.1

I think we’re getting the hang of these Quiz Night things. Ainslie and I might also be getting a reputation.
It’s a phenomenon I only discovered after moving to Western Australia – Quiz Nights aren’t that big in the Eastern States, or at least, they weren’t in the circles I used to frequent. The idea of sitting down for 2 or 3 hours of answering trivia questions might be too much for the hectic, head-kicking lifestyle of the Sydney-sider.
We’ve been to a few nights with our friends Rod and Pauline in the past, but this time, we got to get the two families together. The good thing was, the quiz tested everyone, including the kids.
Well done to Carey Baptist for organising the night, in support of missionary work in Africa.
Our table, literally bursting with TV and music expertise, finished in second place. We’re not Quiz night junkies, by any stretch, but our tables have managed to finish in the top 3 of the last few we’ve been to. Maybe we just have smart friends.
….Naaaah.
Actually, Ainslie reckons she won it by getting a set of pillows in the auction for well below what Laura Ashley would charge.

It’s one year to the day since Ainslie and I celebrated 10 years of marriage with a big, important formal ball with all our friends and family.
Yesterday, we went for a drive to York. Today, we’re going to the Home Show. Just us.

Ainslie and I have been living large on the Perth International Arts Festival scene this week, albeit in a lowbrow sort of way. I’ve saved up my Christmas and Valetine’s Day presents of theatre tickets, which both happened in this same week.
HG Nelson was in town for his ‘On The Lurk’ one-man show, which was really one half of the radio show he does with Roy Slaven, with a little more preparation, and 100% more visual content. The premise of the show was ‘The Lurk’, which is the practise of standing around with nothing to do, but looking very busy about it. There are some brilliant bits (The Call of the 2004 Grand final in under 5 minutes), some off-colour bits (Art Of The Stool) and some bits that just didn’t work, but overall, a great night of ranting from one of the masters of talking rubbish for hours at a stretch.
The moment I saw the advertising for ‘The Pleasure Of Their Company’, I knew I had to be there, two of my favourite Australian performers – Glynn Nicholas and Shaun Micallef – were doing a two man show. With Nicholas’ mastery of physical comedy and mime, and Micallef’s turn of phrase and slightly less-controlled slapstick style, I was expecting brilliance.
They almost got there. The show is a series of sketches, much like Micallef’s ‘Pogram’ (sic) on the ABC (his best work). Some worked, some fell flat, and others were (literally) magic. With a little more savage editing, this partnership might work well on TV. I’d like to see more of a story bringing these two geniuses together – they’d make such a great ‘odd couple’ partnership. Their failed individual sitcoms (‘The Glynn Nicholas Show’ (which they both wrote) and ‘Welcher and Welcher’) shows that they can write clever stuff, and understand comic timing, but they just need a better editor)
I’m not sure that qualifies as real, high-brow theatre-going, but I had a great time. I’m glad I have a wife who understands my sense of humour and is willing to accompany me to strange shows like this.

Been travelling the East Coast again, in Sydney and Melbourne for CA Expo. Some brand new things to talk to customers about, and a couple of nights in expensive hotels ($300+ per night… sheesh). Shame I don’t have time to use the spa.
There’s an amazing display in the Crown Casino here for Chinese New Year – a 50-foot long dragon is belching smoke every 15 minutes to a synchronised sound and light display. Very distracting.
This is almost exactly like trying to work in Las Vegas every year.

Caleb’s had his long-awaited first day at Aquinas today. Looks like a whole new world for him.