Category: Life

“Coles spokesman Scott Parker says people should look out for bottles with the best-before dates of 03/2007 and 03/3007.”
Sage advice. That’d be one heckuva family heirloom for future generations.

It’s interesting to see the little things travellers find amusing about Australia (mainly because there are so many little, amusing things I find wrong with the US). I’m greatly impressed by the divine confluence which produced this marvellously unfortunate cultural translation. (Thanks, Bad Astronomy)
Donner Kebabs just don’t mean the same thing stateside:

The Donner party consisted of a number of families (90 total individuals I believe) who formed a wagon train to cross the Rocky Mountains of the American west. Through a combination of bad planning, bad luck, and bad weather the train became trapped in the Sierra Nevada in the winter of 1846-47. Due to the cold and lack of food people began to die off and some of those remaining turned to cannibalism to survive.

This is one of those “you won’t find time unless you make time” moments: I’ve signed up at the gym.
It seems I’ve served out my mid-life crisis at 34, by getting rid of the WRX, getting into a nice, comfy Forrester, starting to eat right(ish) and signing up for a couple of sessions of ritual humiliation per week. That’s how it goes, doesn’t it?
I’ve been assigned a Personal Trainer for a few sessions, presumably so I don’t make the place look bad by getting horribly mangled in some of the resistance contraptions.
I’ve never signed myself up for any structured exercise programme, ever. Apart from 10 years of soccer which evaporated in the heat of my misspent youth, and a season of getting my butt whipped around a squash court by a decent slice of Perth’s radio talent, I’ve never thought of getting into physical exercise. I’m blessed with a fairly speedy metabolism which means I can hammer away at computers on my fat arse without actually getting a fat arse.
But then, came Singapore: A couple of years ago, The Photo was taken. I shudder to recall it. It won’t be posted here. It was of me. Poolside. Fat.
So why wait until now? I had to wait for a few things to fall into place. The planets seem to have aligned this time, and Fitness First was in the right place at the right time to get my business.
Mark showed me the ropes. Or lack thereof. I love this place; it’s full of gadgets! There are treadmills that take your pulse. There are video screens aplenty. The resistance equipment operates on air pressure, so (ironically) you don’t have to mess around with weights in order to get some resistance exercise. I’m sure Mark doesn’t appreciate what a newbie he’s got here.
I’ll start my first proper session on Friday. Here’s hoping I’ll make it to a second session.

I love this story; about a kid taking the law into his own hands and climbing into the prize vending machine to claim his loot. I find the mother’s reaction interesting: she got a camera to record the incident. But the big issue is in the last line.
Saddest. Ending. Ever.

Sad to hear today of the passing of George Dantzig, a guy you might have heard about in an ‘urban legend‘ about positive thinking. I heard this story a few years ago, and was amazed to find out it was true.
Cutting the long story short, a maths student ‘accidentally’ solves some famous ‘unsolvable’ math problems as homework without realizing they had been challenging experts for years.
The moral of the story is that he may never have solved them, if he’d been aware of their reputation beforehand and become discouraged. More than a few sermon illustrations have thereby sprouted forth about the inherent power of positive thinking. (Or the serene beauty of blissful ignorance).
I don’t know if it’s all connected, but lot of mathematica is being resolved at the moment. We’ve finally completed the Star Wars movie numbering sequence (by inserting a ‘three’), and there seems to be a truce between the hot dog sausage and bun manufacturers to finally agree on portion sizes.
I can feel the Force balancing beneath my feet.

Life was a lot easier before I went over to the Dark Side.
Ainslie and I and the team at CA went to see ‘Revenge of the Sith’ tonight. I think it’s the best film of the lot, and a very satisfying conclusion to the Star Wars story. Many things make more sense. Many other things make less sense.
But darn you, George Lucas, for turning the simple ‘good versus evil’ story of “A New Hope” (aka:: ‘The First One’) into part of a complicated web of lies, deceit and fuzzy morality. Finally, the ‘certain point of view’ lines trotted out in ‘Empire Strikes Back’ (‘The Second One’) make sense. Kind of. How dare you rescue nuance from the shambolic plot development of Episodes 1 and 2.
(Incidentally, I still haven’t figured out how Luke eventually balanced the force by destroying a lot of Imperial hardware in “Return” instead of just cutting the Emperor’s head off when he had the chance. Still some weirdness in the story there. But hey.)
And also, darn you, Lucas, for making Darth Vader a sympathetic character. I could rest easy in the illusion that he, like all despots and evildoers, was evil incarnate from the day he was born. It’s easier that way. Please don’t try to make me understand that people can decide to ‘turn’ evil, and are capable of being redeemed at some future point. That’s just not the way it works.
…In movies.
George, I’m still not convinced that you had a six story arc in mind. At least, not until sometime after ‘Return of the Jedi’ (The Third One) was in the can. But, darn you for turning the first three instalments (Episodes 4,5, and 6) into completely different movies. I’ll need to sit down this weekend and catch up. Can I bunk at your place?
UPDATE: If you’re being bugged by the younglings to let them see it, I highly recommend this ‘Parent’s Guide‘ about the movie. Beware the spoilers.

Fellow Perthites, for the love of all that is holy, don’t buy a Brownes Cola Chill. Or accept one as a gift.
It’s nasty, nasty stuff. So nasty, I’m yet to discover what it tastes like.
Inspired by Rod, I thought I’d use a lull in tonight’s Ten Pin Bowling outing to give one a try. Bad move. Floating in the top of the carton was a congealed mass of something which (and I’m being delicate here) I sipped, and then redeposited in the carton with a flourish. I don’t know what it was, but I suspect there’s a je ne sais quoi about mixing cola flavouring and milk and leaving it to stand for long periods.
In any case, I returned it, to the dismay of the lady behind the counter. “We’ve had a few of these today”, she sighed. “Would you like to try another?”
I’m brave. I took another carton.
It, too, had a congealed mass in the top. I settled for the relative safety of a Mocha Chill.
You can’t have it both ways. While Coke seem to have settled on a formula for Vanilla Coke which isn’t too bad, it may take a while before the market is ready for Coked Milk. With or without gelatinous masses.

There are a few jobs I’d dearly love to do at some point in my life. You know, those occupations you know nothing about, have no training or aptitude for, but would love to have a few days behind the wheel and see what the attraction is. For me, I’d love to own and operate a Theme Park. I have no idea what to do or how to do it, but it just sounds like a fun job.
Some people want to be rock stars. I want to invent rollercoaster rides which make people ill.
Which is probably why I connected with this site, which happened by my screen today. It’s a series of very atmospheric photos of an abandoned theme park, somewhere in Japan. I don’t know the back-story here, but it seems this park has been out of action for some time. The photographer has captured a quite beautiful irony – a once-mighty thrill ride settling into a rusty retirement.
If anyone knows this park, and whether they’d accept a premise for a new reality TV show – My Rollercoaster Rules – let me know.
(Hang on, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Abandoned Australian Theme Park, anyone?)

I’ve just been informed that Allanah has captured a Pikachu in the Safari Zone of Pokemon Sapphire.
I have no idea what that means, but Caleb seems to think it’s worthy of some sort of recognition.
So here it is.

Out of the Land Of The Rings comes this monstrosity. It’s a Subaru WRX converted to an ‘All Terrain Vehicle’ which looks pretty mean. Perhaps the sheep are getting harder to catch over there.