Five Long, Screechy Weeks

Cockatoo-sharing-food
I’m sick of old politics, too; here, have a seed

It would have been nice to be rid of ‘old politics’, as Kevin promised, but at least we now have an election campaign behind us. It’s a decisive result which removes power from The Independents and puts it back with a political party that has some structural integrity and unarguable (if begrudging) electoral support.

If Kev had played the game, and not the man, with support from his team, he might have stood a chance, but a time in the wilderness will be good for Labor.

Let’s hope the country is still salvageable once Tony (and Tony’s replacement) have finished with it in a few years.

By then, my ears might have stopped ringing.

It's On, But It's Already Old

That didn’t take long. We’re only seconds into a new election campaign and Kevin Rudd is already reverting to Old Politics, even as he touts his New Way.

Says Kevin:

Tony Abbott has a different approach. He’ll bang on with the same negativity that we’re all sick of. He’s only got three word slogans because he doesn’t have the ticker to debate his real agenda.

It’s called Inoculation Theory: summarising and refuting your opponent’s arguments before they get to make them. It works if it’s done well, but if you’re going to throw in insults like ‘doesn’t have the ticker’, you’re not taking the high road. You just look asinine. This right here is exactly the sort of stuff people are sick of.

Also, to effectively rail against ‘three word slogans’, you’d do well to engage the treasury to do the math on your own slogan (‘A New Way’) or, maybe, just throwing it out there, forego one altogether.

If this is the voice of Kev’s New Politics, we have five long, screechy weeks ahead of us.

The Voice Australia 'Drinking' Game

Although there’s a perfectly good Voice Drinking Game out there – I thought I should share our household’s ‘Buzzword Bingo’ version.

Take a chocolate honeycomb any time someone:

  • …says something about a contestant ‘owning’ a song, or something about a contestant making a song their own
  • …advises other contestants in the competition to learn something from the most recent performance
  • …observes that they could see what a lacklustre contestant was ‘trying to do’
  • …a judge throws in a random word they found on a ‘word of the day’ website a few minutes earlier
  • …any judge estimates the quantity of ‘respect’ they have – extra points for ‘massive’

CSI: The Fourth Wall

An actual quote from my CSI-Inspired crime-solving dream last night

You know, I hate to break the fourth wall, here, but it really gets on my nerves the way we’re using all sorts of forensic technology that may or may not actually exist. Does this bother anyone else here? Anyone?

And, later

Hold on, I’m wrong – that wasn’t the fourth wall. Probably more like wall 3.5.

(Waving hands around in the air) Hello, Audience!

Now that’s how you break the fourth wall, bitches.

(More info about The Fourth Wall, here)

Happy Birthday, BONWAG

Hey, it’s that time of year again, when we cut the virtual cake for BONWAG’s 18th birthday!I first started keeping tracks of Bits Of Net What Are Good back on November 5, 1994, and although Twitter and Facebook have taken the lion’s share of my attention in recent years, there’s still a place for opinionated rants and random thingery here.

Be sure that Facebook and Twitter will disappear, probably sooner than you’d think/like. I highly recommend establishing yourself with more open, more ownable properties like blogs, which were around before MySpace and Yahoo, and will be here long after the latest fad has passed.

And, as a special birthday treat, I’ve switched off the ads, permanently. How annoying were they?

How To Be Human

A guide for robots and aliens

Greetings!
Greetings! (Photo credit: JD Hancock)

Greetings, fellow sentient being. All too often, we humans are so quick to drag you before our leaders that we forget to school you in the fundamental activities all humans share. Here are some examples of the simple, straightforward activities you need to understand before attempting to exterminate and/or probe us.

How to wash your hands

How to tie your shoes

How to fold a t-shirt

How to fold a fitted sheet

How to open a door