Your Post-Eurovision Recriminations May Now Begin

We're coming after YOU

We’re coming after YOU

Australia’s 5th placing in Eurovision 2015 was an outstanding result for a first (and only) time contender. ‘Our’ performance in last night’s final proved that Guy was the right Guy for the job.

It was heartening to see Sweden (the winners) and Austria (the hosts) putting Australia first in their voting; but there are 4 nations who registered ‘nil points’ for the Aussies, and, in that light, their friendships should be reviewed:

PORTUGAL: I have some good friends in Portugal, what gives, guys? Boycott Nandos Chicken.

AZERBAIJAN and GEORGIA: come on, Turkey would have been totally cool with giving us some points they’d been here this year:

Glad we only gave you guys a point to share. We can’t really go after any of your multinationals, so let’s just be spiteful and rethink buying baklava.

CZECH REPUBLIC: Might be time to reconsider that Škoda.

UPDATE: It’s worth noting that the hosts, Austria, had the wurst score from the final, receiving not a sausage from their guests. That’s kinda rude, right? They can cry in their beer with their German friends, who also left voteless.

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