Have You Had Your 2 And 5 Today?

It’s a strange old world we live in. People start getting it into their heads to sue McDonald’s because they’re getting fat, and even start filming documentaries about it. McDonald’s, already in full swing with their ‘health kick’ as they fork over salads and ‘healthy breakfasts’, fire off a round of ads preaching the gospel of moderation.
Now, it seems that we’ve been wrong about French Fries all this time. Turns out they’re fresh vegetables, because of the way they’re rolled in starch, fried and frozen. Turns out that the whole point is to make them safe for storage, not (as we originally thought) to make them yummy. At least, that’s what the Frozen Potato Products Institute has told the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
Seems I can look the WA Health Department in the eye when they send their ‘2 and 5’ inspectors around to my house and solemnly affirm I’ve had at least one veggie today.
And, taking it to the next level, as suggested in the article, my Cherry Ripe counts as fruit.
What a great time in our history to be alive.