Day: September 13, 2001

American flags and rosettes line the streets here, as the US prepares to observe a national day of Remembrance and Prayer.

The tide is also turning. People are turning off the TV and turning away from the sustained horror of the whole story. Sadness upon sadness; as people turn to the TV and the walls of New York to post pictures of their missing loved ones and make impassioned pleas for their return, they are all starting to blur together and people are turning to each other for support and comfort.
It’s starting to rain outside the hotel window now. That can’t be helping the rescue effort.

Our training course is complete here; people have wedged themselves into whatever vehicles they can find and planned a circuitous route out of New York, back to their homes and family in all corners of the US.

I’m still waiting for word of my return flight to Australia; I may not be getting out of the US on Friday evening as originally planned. I might have to find some ground transport to the other side of the country and try to find a flight in Los Angeles (suspect characters are still trying to use NY airport and getting arrested). As far as I know, they are still tightening security at the airport, but I’d prefer to be late than *late*, if you know what I mean. Maybe a road trip across the US might be interesting. I wish it was a sightseeing run, rather than an exodus.

The US is now just terribly, terribly sad. The reaction has gone beyond outrage and fear to just numb, gut-wrenching grief. People are slowly realising that if they haven’t heard by now about their friends and family, they won’t. Stories of heroism on the flights which crashed cannot pierce the darkness of these days.

I find myself an imposter here. While I share in the grief of the many nationalities of people who have died, I don’t know the words to the songs that the Americans are using for comfort. I don’t know what it’s like to look at the New York skyline and see a hole there. I don’t feel like I’m a part of all this. I do know I’d rather be anywhere else than here: where people are escaping to the comfort of their homes and families and finally switching off the pervasive TV coverage in weary resignation. I am forced to continue following the events, because at the moment I’m a long way from home and no-one is able to help me get back right now.

I’m glad I was able to contact my families in Australia soon afterwards the events, and that my colleages in Australia have been sending me emails mixed with relief and sadness at the events.

At the moment, the training sessions – which have continued with grim determination over the last few days – are petering out as people become concerned with their own transport plans back home. I haven’t felt like lightening the training with jokes like I normally do. As the final day finishes, some people have already hired cars and left for their US locations, while others compare notes about their international flights and gambling on which one will actually take off.

I’m not sure my Friday night flight is happening at this stage, so I may be spending some of the weekend here.

To all who’ve offered help, thank you. I’ll do my best to figure out what the heck’s going on here and take any opportunity I can get to get home. I’ll let you know.

CNN.com has been one of the main sources of news about the attack for those of us who’ve been following it in the US. Also useful: New York Times, ABC News, MSNBC and the BBC.