Questions From The Floor; Yes, You, Sir.

“Questions. Queries. Posers.”
Number Five to Steve Guttenberg – ‘Short Circuit’.
John asks: Hi, can you please tell me how many brothers and sisters Kenny Kidna has?
Presumably, John’s seen the Kenny Fan Page, in which I’ve lately lost interest. A freeze-frame of the ‘Goodnight Kenny’ song in Channel 10 Perth tonight reveals the following names: Jenny, Joey, Sammy, Benny, Krissy, Stinky, Lindy, Johnny, Katy, and of, course, Kenny. So that’s 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9….. (yyyyawwwwn).
Pat asks: Can you tell me why we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Pat’s been thinking too much. And presumably having a hard time getting out of the estate.
Pat also asks: Why does DOT put up signs that say Road Construction ahead when they are usually re-constructing the road?
Where I live, at the moment, the DOT is actually spending most of its time in road destruction. I like the signs which say ‘Slow Men Working’ ‘cos you know its true.
Pat persists: Why doesn’t soap get less soapy as the bar gets smaller?
Presumably, if soap were to lose its soapiness in proportion to its size, you would be left with an infinitely soapy bar. Let me explain. Let’s assume that at the time of purchase, a bar of soap is at full size and full strength. When the soap is decreased to half its size, its soapiness is also decreased to half. The rate of decay of the soap is also halved, seeing as it is only giving off half its lather that that point. So, it will take twice as long for the bar of soap to be reduced by another half. Each shower not only decreases the bar, but also decreases its rate of de-saponification, and increases the amount of time it takes to halve the size again, so that you never get to the point where the soap is exhausted. Granted, by that time, the soap is about as cleansing as a cornflake, but you asked the question, Pat. I hope you can live with the truth.

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