Here’s an assortment of new jokes I heard over the holiday break. For your entertainment.

• What car does Tarzan drive? A Mazda Tree-To-Tree.
• Why do ducks have flat feet? To put out small bushfires.
• Why do elephants have flat feet? To put out burning ducks.

And some crickety hooma:

• Who has the easiest job in the English cricket team? The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
• What does Asley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball takes a wicket? A bat.
• ASHES = Another Sad, Horrific English Season